You fool you just typed it and spoiled your experiment

I’m part of those people. The usual argument is that everybody’s phone is listening all the time, without agreeing to permissions or showing the mic notification or anything like that. I’ve never seen any proof of that. This article is about a bunch of shovelware apps (Pool 3D, Beer pong: Trickshot, Honey Quest etc) that aren’t even listed anymore. There’s nothing about them skirting permissions or hiding the notification.

People see the headline and assume it’s Facebook et al.

You mean you don’t cut it open and scoop?

I FUCKING HATE GIFT VOUCHERS.

I have a little stack of vouchers for places I almost never visit, all expiring at random times in the next year or so. I have to remember what shops I have them for and make sure I spend money there before they expire. It’s just one more thing to worry about. “Oh, I have to buy this from Screwfix - do we have the vouchers for them? Maybe! How much? I don’t know, it doesn’t say on there. Has it expired yet? Not sure. Do they work online? Oh it’s not working maybe we used it and forgot to bin it”. And then the annoyance of spending money somewhere and forgetting to use vouchers. Why do people burden me with this and consider it a gift? Do I look like somebody who shops at John Lewis?!

At least it’s becoming less common for people to start comments with “Imagine…”

Glad you agree on the correct pronunciation of schedule. Fuck the people that say schedule.

They really do their best to avoid words like debt and loan. Those are serious words, this is just a bit of fun! Buy now pay later! 3 easy installments!

I was behind somebody in the queue at Screwfix who was asking for advice after their landlord had glossed the inside of their BATH. What a lunatic.

Bananas are proof of god

That would be Blackburn Rovers but that’ll get you beaten up by ME!

In all seriousness you’ll be fine either way. I do recommend a match, it’s a different experience to American sports and it’ll be a useful small talk opportunity. Otherwise you’ll have to talk about the weather all the time.

Welcome! Do you have a football team already or are you going to support Bastard Rovers?

Yep that’s the one. It was on the taskbar so significantly smaller than it looks here. I think he thought the lightning bolt was the beaks.

Sometimes late at night I squint my eyes to look at the icon and, for a fleeting moment, I can see two penguins.

One time I heard a colleague called the settings/gear icon in Windows a flower. I’ve also heard somebody refer to the PuTTY icon as “the two penguins”

I remember thinking they probably just found actors who wanted to die anyway

New Balance do wide fit, but they’re expensive to buy from their website and hard to find elsewhere. I usually keep an eye on Amazon and pick up a pair whenever they’re cheap

Hey I said most

And most people don’t wanna watch

If that were true, then it would be trans men getting the most attention because they’re the ones cheating their way up this hierarchy. In my experience, 99% of the hate is directed at trans women.

The bums will always lose!