People come here to hoard broken cars & ripped tarps

Not to mention the enormous, life-changing $1700 per year of oil money everybody gets.

Uh, airline tickets to India?

I spent a summer in south India a few years ago during monsoon season. I was fucking miserable in my jeans and shirts until I switched over to wearing loose, flowing clothes made of bleached kahdi (loose homespun cotton) like the locals. It keeps the sun off you and even when it gets soaked it doesn’t cling to your skin, and then whenever the rain stops it dries completely very quickly. Other westerners I met made fun of me for pretending to go native, but they had no clue how effective it was.

I still can’t fully understand wtf iambic pentameter means

I think it means five syllables … plus some fermented raspberry juice.

Where I live, a few stop signs have a square white sign below them that says “EXCEPT FOR RIGHT TURN”, i.e. you don’t have to actually stop if you’re turning right. It’s incredibly fucked up - it works fine if you’re a local and you’re familiar with these signs, but people new to the area don’t know anything about it and if they’re on the crossroad they actually expect the other driver to stop since all they see is the backside of the octagon. It’s pointless to have these signs anyway since people usually roll through stop signs as it is.

Why would you have failed? You are supposed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign.

It’s hilarious to me that Musk claims to work 100 hours a week but he’s the CEO of five companies. Even if the claim were true (and of course it isn’t) it means being the CEO of one of his companies is a 20-hour-a-week job at best.

I know many people who believe that “right on red” means they have the right of way to make the turn and don’t have to stop first or yield to traffic.

Butler was (will be?) right!

Japanese cars are superior to American cars

I had a high school friend who went on to become an engineer at General Motors. One of his first projects for them was tearing down an Infiniti and a Lexus when those cars first came on the market. He said that at the time, GM cars typically had between 300 and 400 production defects of varying severity. When they took apart the Infiniti, they found 2 production defects; when they took apart the Lexus, they found 0.

Jesus is anti-authoritarian first and foremost

I mean, he did exhort his followers to sell their shirts and buy swords!

The flavor, called Screamin’ Freedom, tasted like hard candies dissolved in water

This is ridiculous. Room-temperature energy drinks are supposed to taste like cough syrup.

Soy vey

I will never get over those NK officers’ hats. They’re like codpieces for the head.

One word: mortars.

Where did I say yellowjackets were bees?

They already like to have fun by attacking sailboats. Orcas are comrades!

Yellowjackets can sting the fuck out of you multiple times, too. I got stung by two of them last summer and then they somehow got inside my t-shirt and stung me a bunch more times before I made it inside and flung my shirt off. After waiting half an hour for the pain to subside, I picked up my t-shirt to put it back on and the two yellowjackets fell out of it, still alive. Fortunately they were as surprised as I was and I was able to stomp them before they stung me again.

Ooooooooh what a lucky man … he-ee was ^{was was was}

just let him keep breaking the law until it reaches the Supreme Court?

Also after it reaches the Supreme Court.