• 0 Posts
  • 79 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: September 27th, 2023

help-circle









  • “Those rioters were advancing in a menacing fashion. The police were fearing for their lif…”

    “Sir. It was one person.”

    “The rioter was advancing in a menacin…”

    “It wasn’t a rioter. It was a reporter.”

    “The reporters were advancing in a menacing fashio…”

    “It was just one. A singular woman reporter. Who was talking to a camera.”

    “So there were at least two of them? Reporter and camera person”

    “…yeah. I guess.”

    “Those rioters were advancing in a menacing fashion, possibly armed with RPG’s and dirty nuclear bombs. The police were fearing for their life and reacted as they were trained and shot her in the back. We have investigated and found that they did nothing wrong.”




  • There’s a lot of quick and seemingly painless deaths here!! Unacceptable.


    Ok, here goes:
    The overbloated satsuma sends in the gravy seals to kill him, however they only maim him leaving muskrat in excruciating pain…but alive.
    For now.

    He escapes and goes in to exile somewhere (Moscow? Somewhere embarrassing.) but it doesn’t matter as he can’t leave his bed due to the searing pain etc etc.

    muskrat realises he’s going to die a slow painful death so in turn takes a leaf out of putlers’ book and smuggles some polonium in to Fatboys big mac. Mr Chunky CheesePaint eats said poisoned big mac and starts to deteriorate nice and slowly, but painfully.

    Now there are both slowly dying. They both have weeks or a few months at best to live. And even with pain meds they’ll both experience the horror of the agony, AND the knowledge that death is coming for them.


    Not my finest work but the essence is that they both get taken out and endure the pain they so rightfully deserve.