Another thing with ADHD (as you might know) is that the frontal lobe isn’t fully developed, which makes it harder to regulate your feelings and how to respond.
I love the idea of a stamp sheet or something like that to make it clear what needs to be done, I often don’t see things that my wife finds obvious and that can lead to irritation, but we have been able to get past that since we talked about my shortcomings and what I need support with to be able to do them.
I’m sorry to hear that, I couldn’t even imagine having to work two jobs, let alone getting employment abuse, I’m tired enough as it is when I get home from my one job. My wife isn’t working either but luckily we get by anyway, but getting a house or a larger investment will take a super long time since there is not much to save each month.