Nothing more precious than reminding your lil’ squirt that you once raw dogged mommy and turned her into a boston cream doughnut.

Old rich white people get results.

“Oh yes degrade me more orange daddy!! Mmmfph”

With all that sun, maybe he’ll get a real tan.

Your mother makes robots in hell.

I screamed, you screamed, we all screamed for eye cream.

This is a basic fact overlooked by almost every time travel sci-fi. We wouldn’t just jump into a machine and poof be in the exact same location 1,000 years ago.

It would be more like trying to land a spaceship on a planet light years away, there would have to be calculations for position and gravity. All sorts of crap before you even solve the impossible problem of turning back the clock.

Also we’d first have to figure out how to travel faster than light to even hope to break the riddle of time travel.

As fun as it is to theorize time travel would be impossibly complex and probably devastating to try.

Imagine what an object would do with all those forces behind it suddenly slamming into a object moving much slower, it would be like a time bullet that would tear apart the planet and punch a hole in space. We would likely achieve a black hole and destroy all of earth before we could see what earth looked like 1,000 years ago.

It’s morbin time!

And drinking a refreshing Ç̷̧̡̢̧̧̙͓̮̮͖͎̱̤̳̙̺͍̺̜͇̠̯̗̼̯͍̖͈̝͎͙͓̦̞̝͙̺̼̗̘̲̙̮̺̪̹̪̗͓͍̳̲̼͈̖͗͑̾̈́̓̀͗̈́͜͜͝͝ͅͅơ̸̧̡̢̧̢̨̛̛̛̙̟̦͓̜̯̖̬̩̙͚̭͚̱͓̫͖̙̮̪̗̜̗̻̬͖̝̖͉̩̻̺͇̲̩̦͍͚̝̐̾͆̾̃̓́͋͑̀͑́̆̌̒͂̍̎̊̂̓̆̔̀͗̉̄̍̒̎́̒͊͛͌̑̒̽̿̇̀̅̊̄͆̊̈̿̀̂̓̈́͌͛̃͑͑͊̚̚̚̕͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅk̶̢̨̢̛̛̛̮̻͕̱͙̰̬̟͕̝̪̮̥͎̪̻͇̣̼͚͍̲̪͙̗̹̱̺̆͑͐̈́͛̏̽͐̿́̈́͗̽̏̔̋͊̀̅̽́̀̿̓̉͐͊͊̐̍̆̎̍̀͒̋̈́̔̿̔́͑̽̔́͛̾̂͑̈́̔̈́͌̍̈̄͛̍͐͐̈́̃͌̄̋̈́́̌̓̉̇̿̀̀̚̚͘̚͜͜͜͜͠͝͠ę̶̡̛͚͓̲̼͈̭͚̙̼͕̮̙̫̖͓̜̣͕̠̞̫̗͙̥͚̣̣̲̫̜̟͔̯̫̩̼̤̅͒̌̍̑̀̇͂̄͗̀̊̄̅̔̔͗̂̾̉̓̐͗̋͗͊̀̏̇͛̊̏̃̌͌́̈͋̑̒͒̈͌̈́͑̂̈͋̎̑̓̊̀́̐̚̚͜͝͠͝͝͠͝a̸̢̡̢̧̧̤̜̰̠̩̯͙͔̖̳̳̩̘̥͙͙̙̬̦̺̗̝͛́̍̓̇́̀͆͑͜ć̴̡̨̧̛̖̱̥̙̳͓̤̻̑͐̅̑̏̐͊͒̾̎́͗̋̎̈́͐̌̇̓͆̓̒͐̔̄́̂̊͑̒̉͑͑͂́͛͋͒̊͋̓̓̀͂͒̎͋͋̎̽́͋̀̏͒̒̿̒̽̂̔̂̀̅͂̋͐̋̈̀̿̿́̍̕̚͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠ơ̸̢̨̨̢̲͚̤͖͇̦̯͓͍̤͈̹̖̞͕̗̬̮͔͚͙͎̩̣͓̹͎͚͈̖̚͜l̴̨̢̧̡̢̢̢̡̨̢̧̛̺̳̭̘͙̬͙͖̬̲̠͔͈͎͇̠̼̘̗̭̤̥̖̭̻͎̱͈͓̲̺̬̫̤̻̙̮̬̯̻͖͇͔̹̩̟̰̣͙̫͎̤͔̼̩͙̬̖̟̪̤͇̟̫̭̳͙͈͇̮̞͕̰̮̙̪̳̟͈̿́͌̀̄̽͗̄̄̆͑̔͊̈̊͌̄͒͋̎̓͐͂̀͛̊͊̐͂̀̽̒̂̊̔̆̏̌̍͛̾̉̽̑̾̋̅͛̌̆̎͛͑̉͑̕̕̕̚͜͠͝͠å̸̧̧̨̨̛̛̛͍̖̗̲͙̝̜̲̪͖̟̬̱̜̜͚̳̻͉͎̪̩͎͈̟̻̫̟͖̲̤̜̥̮̝̗̳͖͕̻̞̙̳̤͚̹̳͍̭͔̤̼͍̬̼̌̒̔͂̈͆̆͒͂͌̄͗̌̆̉̀̉̽́͂̔̆͂̽̌̈́̏́̿͋͂̎́͛̑͛̐͗̋̑̀̃̀̇̎͛̊̇̆͊̏͗͂̋̒̎͛͆̅͑̀̿̎̉͊͑̍̚̚͘̕͘͘͜͠͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ

WOULD YOU RATHER eat a chocolate bar off a public toilet seats lid.

OR WOULD YOU RATHER Eat a chocolate bar out of a public toilet bowl.

Why have 2 people do 2 jobs, when you can have 1 frightened employee do 2 jobs or maybe more.

I have a lot of trouble understanding celebrity worship for anyone.

Don’t get me wrong I have favorite celebrities for movies/music. I give two shits what they do outside those mediums or what they have to say. At the end of the day we are all hopeless idiots regardless of status and I wouldn’t trust any of them as much as any other stranger. Because I don’t fucking KNOW them and they don’t know me.

Anyhow I’m not pointing fingers at Taylor Swift or her fan club. This has perplexed me way before the current generation. People have been following strangers like silly sheep since 0 BC. I get there are some deep seed instincts in being a part of a group that get warped here… but good gravy some people need to step back and have an introspective moment to break their fixations.

“What’s Taters?”

“Po-ta-toes… Boil um mash um stick um in a stew!”

Headline: “Unveiled: Trump’s Border Control Idea Involves Giant Trampoline Fields to Bounce Off Intruders!”

Dateline: Washington D.C., December 17, 2023

In a shocking turn of events, leaked documents obtained from a former White House staffer have exposed a startling facet of Trump’s border security strategy: the installation of colossal trampoline fields along specific stretches of the border to deter potential intruders.

Among the documents were purported quotes attributed to Trump himself, endorsing the outlandish plan. “Nobody builds trampolines better than me, believe me. They’re tremendous. These trampolines will be so big, so bouncy, it’ll be impossible for anyone to cross,” the leaked statement attributed to Trump read.

The revelation came through a former senior advisor to the Trump administration who spoke under strict anonymity. “President Trump was enthusiastic about this idea. He believed that the visual impact coupled with the physical deterrent of bouncing off intruders would make crossing the border nearly impossible,” the source disclosed.

When asked about the authenticity of the leaked quotes, the former advisor claimed, “Those were his exact words. He was convinced this was the ultimate solution to our border security challenges.”

Surprisingly, this proposed plan had evoked a mixed reaction within the administration. While some officials reportedly supported the idea as a novel approach, others expressed reservations about its practicality and potential risks.

In response to the leaks, the Department of Homeland Security refrained from confirming or denying the existence of such a proposal. “Our efforts to explore various border security solutions are ongoing. However, specific details on strategies are not disclosed publicly,” their official statement read.

Experts in immigration policy, however, voiced concerns about the feasibility of such an unconventional idea. “While innovative approaches can sometimes revolutionize security measures, the implementation of a trampoline field along the border raises significant safety and circumvention issues,” noted Dr. Emily Rodriguez, a border security analyst at a leading think tank.

The leaked documents did not pinpoint the locations slated for these supposed trampoline fields. Despite the uproar caused by this unconventional aspect of the proposed border control strategy, there has been no official response from the Trump camp regarding these leaked statements or the trampoline proposal.

As debates persist over the effectiveness of existing border policies, the emergence of this bizarre revelation further complicates the discourse on border security and immigration control.

For now, the veracity and potential enactment of the trampoline fields along the border remain uncertain, leaving experts and the public contemplating the practicality and plausibility of such an unprecedented approach to safeguarding national boundaries.

chatGPT Prompt: Generate 10 headlines about Donald Trump’s policies on border control and immigration that are a bit odd but still plausible.

1. “Whistleblower Exposes Trump’s Unconventional Tactics in Border Control Strategy!”
2. “Border Control Chaos: Trump’s Alleged Plan to Deploy Robotic Guard Dogs Revealed!”
3. “Leaked Memo: Trump’s Proposal for a Giant Catapult to Launch Migrants Back Home!”
4. “Unorthodox Measures: Trump’s Border Policy Includes Giant Human-Sized Hamster Wheels?”
5. “Border Barrier Controversy: Trump’s Blueprint for a Moat Filled with Glitter and Confetti!”
6. “Leaked Details: Trump’s Border Vision Encompasses Invisible Sonic Walls to Deter Crossing!”
7. “Outlandish Tactics: Trump’s Alleged Proposal for a Border Wall Infused with Holograms!”
8. “Alarming Strategies: Trump’s Plan for a 50-Foot Deep Trench as Part of Border Security!”
9. “Inside Sources Reveal Trump’s Plan for a Maze of Funhouse Mirrors at the Border!”
10. “Unveiled: Trump’s Border Control Idea Involves Giant Trampoline Fields to Bounce Off Intruders!”

Time traveling hackers.

Their goal? To travel back in time and establish the first spam marketing service before the FCC established guidelines to restrict spam and before the discovery of the telephone!

History proves we do the cheapest, easiest, and fastest. So allow me to shit all over this idea…

• This is slow at 1.5 mins vs a needle takes about 5 secs.
• Takes skill to operate an ultrasound machine and probably training to get a consistent dose vs pull needle to this line and jab in arm to know you got it all in there.
• Every Rite Aid and CVS would need an ultrasound machine vs here are these cheap disposable needles that require no power or maintenance.

Sure they might develop it faster or make a new more portable thing. But that’s going to take a long long time when no one gives a shit to invest money in a new thing when needles work.

Elin Moosk