Mint_Raccoon

They’ve already been mentioned, but The Dead Milkmen are exactly what you’re looking for.

I have a T480 that I’m very happy with. With shipping I paid a little under $250. It came with 16GB of RAM and a 256GB SSD (which I replaced with a larger one).

I’ve used KDE on a Thinkpad T60, it’s about 17 years old, has 3GB of RAM, and a Core Duo. It ran surprisingly well. Replacing the HDD with a SSD can also make a noticeable difference, so you should consider that if you haven’t already. I also turned off a lot of the animations and effects for better performance.

The closest I can offer to what you’re asking for is that there are some e-readers that use Android. I own a Boox Page, which is one of those, and I’m happy with it. Boox products are a bit on the pricier side, but they do offer features that can be difficult to find on other manufacturers’ offerings, such as a micro SD slot.

My sister uses her second monitor maninly for Discord, but sometimes it’s art references or game guides.

There’s a homebrew app called ftpd that you could use, but it only works on a hacked system and that requires an SD card reader to initially setup.

I don’t think that what you want exists. The best I can offer is SysDVR, which streams video to a PC and from there you could livestream that.

Alternatively, you could try your luck asking on GBAtemp and see what they know.

Some old Archos media players, such as the 605 WiFi, run a locked down Linux according to Wikipedia.

It’s almost always better to not buy a cheap sex toy. There’s no regulation of the industry and many materials in cheaper toys are just straight up dangerous. Here’s an article (it’s NSFW, there are pictures) that goes over what materials are and aren’t safe.

Etrian Odyssey

I tried the demo for the fourth one and just didn’t really like or get it. A couple years later Atlus announced Persona Q (which has mostly the same gameplay as Etrian Odyssey) so, I decided to give the demo another try and it just clicked this time. I have no idea why I didn’t like it the first time around.

All you have to do is download the APK from the F-Droid website and enable installing from third-party/unknown sources in the Settings app (some versions of Android ask automatically when you try to open the APK). I also recommend disabling unknown sources for your browser once you’re done as a security measure.

The weirdest fetish I’ve ever seen was knee inflation and as a furry and former deviantArt user I’ve seen some pretty weird stuff.

Debian is always a safe choice for almost everything. It’s also worth checking DistroWatch. They have a search that can filter which distros are developed for a specific task (it’s under “distribution category”).