Take a deep breath. Close your mouth. Hold your nose and then try to blow air out.

Cures hiccups.

Also… there are two kinds of people in this world:

1. Those that do it
2. Those that lie about doing it

Dad didn’t have much good advice, but these two have held up over the years.

No the sad truth is that Peter Theil is, in fact, human. A human that we are all capable of becoming.

You just have to make a billion bad decisions to get where he is now.

That is a really good photo. And it was cropped perfectly for the cover.

I’d say hand it the Pulitzer, but there has been an absolute glut of award-level material so far this year.

Palantir really wants it’s fucking database.

All because Petey truly believes that there are demons living in the United States.

The plastic ocean.

Be sure to drink plenty of Malk!

Completely random sounds?

Technically, never. Physics is a bitch.

So… no high speed fiber access then?

Wish this was a “hooray” moment for Hungary or the region.

Because it would put an incredible strain on the animators.

Iso-linear.

Lotus Eaters can eat a bag of farts.

Carson Benge… that’s a hell of a deep cut.

That seal is next month’s problem.

Left park, none beef.

Because I believe my actions in the “third” act will more accurately define how much of a monster I truly am.

I love value-grading…

“I am vertical.”

It’s strictly an Albany expression.

President Beep?