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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 9th, 2023

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  • SolarNialamide@lemm.eetoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml*Permanently Deleted*
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    9 months ago

    I’m sorry but you’re being a child. ‘Well, if everyone apparently hates hearing me talk so much, I’ll just say nothing at all, just to please everyone even if it kills me inside!’ My guy. If multiple people at different points in your life with different relationships all say the same thing to you, it’s probably true. I know it’s hard to accept but you’re not accurately seeing what is happening in these social situations because you have a certain view of yourself and how you behave doesn’t match with that so you ignore it.

    I speak from experience. I’m autistic, it took a long time for me to learn to communicate properly. I had to be told by multiple people who were close to me at mutlple parts of my life that I was selfish in conversation and only talked about myself. At first I was very offended and indignant and denied it. Those people stopped being friends with me, but years later I realized they were right. Still, when I’m not trying I slip into just talking about myself. It took my brother and his wife saying it to me again 2 years ago. I apologized to them and have started paying attention more, and it makes a world of difference.

    Let other people talk, ask them questions, no matter how brilliant or interesting you think you are. You, in your childish indignation, think that being more empathetic in conversation will have a negative impact on you, but the people around you will like you way more and be more willing to talk with you, which actually has a positive impact on you. You know, I have students who are also super offended every time you discipline them because it’s sooo unfair and they didn’t do anything wrong, but it happens with every single teacher. It’s not them, it’s you. Try to be open to the fact that sometimes, other people have a more accurate view of your behavior. If they all say the same thing, listen.