Dion Starfire

I saw one of these at Target the other day in the $5-and-below section. Except it wasn’t a full phone, it was a nostalgia grab designed to be a wired “headset” for a cell phone with a headphone jack.

Originally the machines were going to use human brains for processing, but apparently the explanation was deemed too technical, so they changed it to some mumbo jumbo about power, which also let them use the nickname Coppertop.

A partner of mine has an above-range microwave with the worst implementation of this that I’ve ever seen. When you mute the button beeps, it mutes the entire microwave. Food finished cooking? Silent. Manual timer set? Hope you’re looking to see when it hits zero. There’s no way to silence the buttons without muting all alerts completely.