While I don’t want to even pretend to tell you how to make your decisions, you actually provide your own argument for why non-commercial licenses fail: Just like you can cordon off AGPL code and not let it touch your main project, big corporations are more than happy to juggle accounting tricks to make a certain piece of a project look “non-commercial,” if it’ll make them money.
In my opinion, it’d be better to force them (by the terms of the license) to contribute changes back upstream, so that if you disapprove of their use, you have the ability to publicly shame them as it happens.
You’re probably looking for YaCy, though it’s more peer-to-peer and mostly predates the trend of federation.