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Cake day: June 25th, 2023

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  • When I was an intern in IT in the olden days a manager once decided to send an apology gift to every single employee for his botched project. It was a switch from analog phones to VoIP with Skype that really wasn’t so complicated but left a bunch of people without working phones for days. The gift? A snickers bar in a big paper bag with a sticker on it. I had to put three hundred stickers on those bags and then hand them to people who were very confused to find a tiny snickers in them. Now they told me to hand it out with a smile and tell them we’re really sorry but I’d hand them out with my best I’d-really-rather-be-somewhere-else-face and say “trust me, nobody finds this more stupid than me.”






  • Every day some engineer would have to answer his questions. “Can we remove brown?” “Pardon me?” “The color, brown, can we remove it?” “I’m sorry I don’t understand, remove it from where? I don’t think our rocket has any b-” “No, I mean from the world. Maybe with our satellites?” “I…don’t think that’s something we’ll be able to-” “How about birds? I don’t like them. They remind me of god.” “We…we’ll look into it.”