“After all, just look at what AI did for me in this photo!”

This is soup for my family!

Do jump scares count as surprises? If so, then frequently.

“Now everyone please turn to document number 43298 in your packet entitled ‘Facts About Your Mother.’”

Well sure, if you don’t take the ferry

The superior way is to eat it like corn on the cob. Start at the pointier end and chew straight back to the mangonus. Don’t forget to smother it in butter after shucking the husk.

Well, yours has been up for over four hours so you should call a doctor.

POWER WORD KILL!

I think a little more like Yankees/Red Sox in baseball. Two things that basically seem the same to outsiders but which have their own devoted/crazy followings.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Wait. Did you say “on Reddit” or “with a mouthful of peanut butter?”

I’m guessing it’s all down to sports. “I’m a Christian, so that means I’m on Christ’s team. Obviously Christ’s biggest rival is Antichrist, so I have to be against him too. Booooo Antichrist!”

I can imagine women throwing all kinds of things at him. Maybe some of them have run out of sharp or blunt things to throw and went for what they had.

Pretty sure there’s a chemical element named “lead”

“I have a Mint Majesty for… Jarley Murk?”

The fediverse introduces people to you

I use the blank stare with “what do you mean?” Then I continue to be clueless as they explain whatever shitty viewpoint they’re backing.

Dude. I can’t draw a bicycle while looking at it.

Handle? That’s the propeller.

It would be kinda creepy if it was taken before he got shot

Lots of mentions of The Boss, but not those other cheery Jerseyites. Bon Jovi with “Livin’ on a Prayer.”