I swallowed a bee. Not on purpose. I was out boking and singing along to my current favorite album (the last best concert I went to) and, well, my relationship with bees requires some explaining.
When I was a kid, bees liked to land on my glasses, then climb around to the inside. In between the glass and my eyeball. Have you ever tasted your bravery? Courage? Just whether you could stand really fucking still? Bees like my eye juices okay.
So a bee came at me. Went in my mouth while I was singing on my bike ride. If you can’t sing while you’re exercising, you’re working too hard. I may or may not have been part of a roving band of violent minstrels when I was younger. That’s beside the point. The damn bee I can still feel it on my uvula. Aaaaaa
Guess you will need some kind of face shield from now on.
My dogs likes to snatch flies out of the air. He thinks of them as sky raisins.
You ate a jalapeno sky raisin.
Was it a honeybee or a bumblebee?
It tasted like burning
OH no it must have been a ⁁̸̴̸̸̵̵̷̸̸̷̴̴̸̶̧̧̧̡̡̛̳̰̟̱̩̦̣̜͉̟͓̠̺̦̫͕̲̫̠͈͇͙̳͖͓͓͍͚͔̭̭̫͓̮̘̗͓͎̰̜̥̞͎̹͔̫̯̘̞͍̲̻̥͇̥̘̠̤̠̜̠̜͍͈̯̼̙͇͎̪͔̘͉̆̇̀̆̈́̄́̆͌̆̎̏̽̊̑̄̔̓̄͗̉̀̏͑̓̉̓͌͐͑̍̀̃̈́̋̏̓̅͛̆̈̉͋̅̔̌͐̈́͛̋͐̓̓̒̔̅̄̄́̎̍̉̓̀̆͆̑̀͑͂̀̓̊̿̌̃̓͛́͛͗͌͆̇̈́̿̒͌͐͑̊̓́̑̂̏̀͒̂̆͗͗̾̒̏̈́͌̒̈́̍͛̕̕̕͘̕͘͘̚̕̕̕͜͝͝͠͝͝※̷̵̶̵̷̵̵̵̵̶̸̴̸̵̵̸̶̶̵̶̴̷̷̢̧̨̡̧̧̧̧̡̡̧̢̢̡̨̨̢̢̧̡̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͖̙̭̤͈̣̳̹̗̻̗̖̙̠̙̤͍̪̟̼͔̻͖̲̦̪͕̹̙̤̼͇͉̻̠̳̰̗̼̗̭̙̹̬̩̫̳̯̱̥̘̠̠̦̭̰̲̻̬͙̲̬̩̟̮̠͖͇̩͍̺̩̼̞̱͈̠̯̯̪̘̝̪̗̥̝̖̜̬̰͔̲̣̟͖̲͉̼̯̦͉͍̦͉̜̜̲͔̙̳̣͇͈̘̼̥̦̣͉̜͔̤̦̠͍͈̖͕͍̠͇̙̪̰͔̣͍̣̱̞͓̖̼̜͉̱͕̻͖͕͉̗̘̝̜̥͚̙̗̭̳̬̰̤̲̞̬̰̬̼̠̹̻͎̦̠̤͓̤̗̯̹̖̩͉̫̒̏͗͗̈́͗̀́͒͗͋̀̈̓̾̆́̈́̑́͆̉̇̈́̒͌̀̒̍͐̃̈́́͗̑̏͑̎̿͐̊̔́̐́̂̓̔̐̀̈́̀͑̉͛͋̏̃̃͑̾̅͐͋̿̆̃́̓̌̾̔̔̑́̆͛̊͐̀̑̆̒͐̓̈͆̃̏̓͑͋́͐̓̉̈́̒̃͌̀͐̾̄̎́̆̒̀́̌̏̈́̏̏̏͐̔̋̂̌̏͊́̽̓̏́͗̿̔̀̏͑̈́̆͆͂̀̃̑̎̓́̌̾̇̏̑͗̋̂͊̀̈́̓̌͊̀̏͐̓͘͘͘͘͘̕͘͘͘̚̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͠͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅ⁐̸̶̷̶̴̸̷̷̵̵̶̵̷̨̡̧̧̨̡̧̢̨̨̧̛̛̛͕͕̫̣͉̮͍̼̳̻̗̮̘͇͇̣͇͓̳̗͙͕̲͕̫̥͉͙̯͕̮͓͓̫͈̰͎͖͓͓̰͍̹̹̳͓̰̞̤̦̖͚̟̟̻̻̱̮̰̯̪̜̻̟͇̞͓͇̰͇̦̯̮̟͉̫̘̲̱̳͇̻͚̲͖̝̔͑̏̑̇͂́̈́̈́͛̊̾̏̏̈́͑̀͆̈́̅̒͐̅͒̾́͊̓́͋͑̀̋̈́̎̿̒̀̏͒̀̌̌̍̎̅͐̅̓͊̿̔͛͊͆̌̀́͒̈́̊̂̿̀̔́̋͑̍̆͊͛̒̒͗͂́̇̌̅̀͊͌̽̑́̅̌̆̾̉̓̅̔̎̃̕͘̚̚͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ⁽̸̸̴̷̶̶̷̸̵̷̵̵̴̶̸̶̵̶̷̢̢̧̨̨̧̧̡̨̨̨̡̨̡̛̻͈̹͎̩͍̫̳̫̜̰̘̪̹͔̰̹̝̮͎͙̖̱̗̰͚̟̭͈̖̠̳͎̼͍̳̻̯͉̩͕̙͎̖̞̤̪̩͍̥̝̪͉̱̱͚̗̺̖͙̹̩͖̠̯̻̣̟̪̟̲͓͈͍͕͎͎̗̫̰̰͓͚̰͕͓̞͔͖̗͎͇̱̹̻̱͖͇͇̤͔̹̪̼͈͎̫̥͖̫͔̜̹̘̹͉̠̰͈̮͓͈̱̤͎̟̣̟̼̼̤̮͎̖̠̮͕̦̲͈̳͕̹͇̗̘̦̻̤̙̖̳̖̦̫̳̼̓̒̉̂̓̀̓̒̆͋́͒̽̎̓̆͆̓͆̾̍̆̀̂͛̐̆̽̎̐̈́͗̇͒͛̀̌́̏̅̇̂̔̆͛̔̽̎̃̑̅̌̀͆̿̂̈́̾͒͑̅́͋̉̿͛́̍͛͗̔͗̄̂̓͊̾͋̇̽́̂́̐̆͐̊̈͒̃̈͊̾̊̒̌̀̾̆̊̓́̃̋̈́̔̋̋͆͛̐́͑̏̾͑̐̌̐̓̀͂́̄̅̃̏̇̃̄̐̀̈̓̏͌̊͗́͌͋̄̚͘͘̕̚̕͘̕͘̚̕͘̚͘̕͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅ⃤̴̸̸̵̵̷̵̵̷̶̷̸̶̷̸̸̸̡̡̧̡̨̢̧̡̧̢̨̡̢̡̛̛̦͉̩̘̖̻̠̜̙͖͇̘̹̱̲̺̺̰͙̘̘͚̞͙̺̺̻͇̥͉͕̟̘͈̙̭͇̪͈̭̭̩̘͚̪̹͎͖̤͙̜̬̫̼̖̟̼͎̤̱͕̞̩̟͉͔̩͚̤̪̱̳̗͙̭̪͓̬̪͉̫̦̟͙̙̰̜̼͙̞̲̗̞̮͈̤̫̝̩̬̖͇̹̬̦̼͕͓̦̖̰͉̮͉̲͔̗̜͖̭̟͍̣͎̙̘̰̥͇̟͇͎̘̖͔̞̭̭̮͈̲͉̞̲̣̗͈͇͉͙̹͓̪͎͔͋̈́͌͑̆̓́̓̏̔͆̍͑͌͆̈͑̽̓̒̌̾͑͑̈́͋̿͒́̇̄̔͗͊͒̾͛͗̍͂͑̈́̏̒̒̐̑̌̓̈́̆͌̅̏͌̉́́̋̊͌̎̐̋̈̄̐̀̐͋̈́̾̄͂͐̐̈͊͛͆͒͑̾̋̆̑͌͂̀̽̎̎̏͛̈́̏͌͗͐́̈̍̊̚̕̕̕̕̚̚̚̕͘͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝ͅͅ⃣̵̴̷̷̶̸̴̴̸̷̷̴̸̢̧̡̨̨̨̢̧̧̛̛̣̘̼̬͔̺͉͔̩͖̬̲̠̟̹̼͉̜͍͙͈̤̱͖̹̘̮̭̬̣̱̜̘̝̤̪̮̥̪͓͉̲͔͕͇̮͈̥̺̭͎̠̼̞͙̜̘̜̟̬̙̻̻͇͇͙̞͓̝̹̗͙̳̗̱̰̰̩̩̟͙̣̀̒͌̄̓̉̑̐̀͂͗̿̔̒̈́̄̆̒̓̊͋̉͑̌̀͋͐̎̑̀̒̍͑́̊̒͒͆̐̅͋̄̀̈̌̇̀̍̍̔̐̔̍̽͋̀̀̀̇̏̇͌̽̋̽͗̃̍͗̀̂̈̇̊̽͒͆̚͘͘̕͜͝͝ͅͅͅbee
Rest in Peace, I’m sure you’ll realize you have been ⃦̸̶⃘̵̵̧̧̧̡̛̭̮̲̦͉̪̺̟̬̺͕̤̟̹͚͎̖̦͉͔̼̘͕̺̣̺͔̣̠̟̤̬̜̘̮̱̗̜͇̫̥̅̈́͌⃧̒͆͋͆͗̽̈́̿⃐́̀̿̀̋̽̑̓͂̒̚̕̚̕͘͜ momentarily.
Idk of any Burning Bees
omg I would fall off my boke
it’s a tricucle and i still nearly fell off spitting. thanks bee god for cruise control
Would sound like “bonk” if you feel off your boke, right?
only if you bork it
Best small prose of the internet today.
🏆
“beeside the point”
also, friend, not dull.
A dull man may experience the undull and yet remain dull
I’ve taken bees in the mouth when I’ve been out on my dual sport. That can be painful at 60kph.
Just relax. The bee is in control now.
we are bee now
So you were singing in the key of bee?
Pretty sure now it’s the key of bee flat…
bee sharp. ow.
I’ve had bees clock me at high-speed in the forehead while biking, which sucks (for me and the bee I expect) – but swallowing one whole? Wow.
If you feel guilty, as penance go hand-pollinate a few flowers each morning for the next few days. There’s work to be done! :)
i was only doing 15, so not that high speed. maybe. the headwind is usually 20mph on that stretch of road. i’m wearing a full helmet from now on.
Bornk
You’ve confirmed my fear as I’m walking or biking with my mouth open while talking or taking a bite of something. No longer an irrational fear, it seems.







