Hi Lemmy,
Apologies if this is a dumb question.
I have a trans person that I supervise and I know he is having a hard time after Trump’s only two genders executive order.
Is there anything I can do to make sure that he feels supported at work?
I have regular check-in meetings with my staff so I was hoping to see how he was doing, but don’t want to force him into an uncomfortable discussion.
Note: His performance is still excellent at his job so this isn’t a “coaching conversation” or anything like that
big fat raise
LOL. For what it’s worth I recommended to HR that they get moved to the next pay step.
I’ve had trans reports in the past when I was a supervisor (TBF, the world was a lot different). Two things that I’d recommend:
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Continue being a good lead and treating them with respect, using their preferred pronouns, etc. Intervene gently but firmly if there is inappropriate derogatory stuff going on in the workplace.
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If possible, I’d get a 1:1 meeting with them and outright ask “Do you want to talk with me about how current events are impacting you and anything that I can do to ensure that you feel supported?”. If they say “no” or aren’t comfortable, ensure that they know that that’s ok and that the offer is there.
As a disclaimer, I am neurospicy so, there may be gentler ways to approach but I have found that clearly and directly communicating that genuine support is there, if they need it want it and giving them a way to ask is generally well-received.
I’d say instead of setting up a meeting, just take a second on a quiet day and ask how they’re going, if they want any support or to talk. It still has the same positive effect, but an outright scheduled meeting feels a bit weird, my first assumption for one is negative (though again, it could just be me).
Some great points though, I’m sure they’d recognise the intent to be good.
Lol, neurospicy, I like that, might need to use that myself
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I’d probably just say something non-pressuring but supportive like “I know with everything that is going on recently that things may be challenging for you right now. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me and I’ll support you in any way I can.”
Even if it’s not your bag having a flag up or sticker in your personal area could go a long way.
As others said treating as a person #1 always. Sticker is lower key than addressing it in that 1 on 1 deal. They cohld construe it wrong possibly.
You being cognizant of it is already ahead of the game.
I tackle this two ways.
I ensure that I have a progress pride bracelet, pin, or other clearly visible symbol of allieship on me at all times. I also have prominently displayed safe space signage around my office. There should be zero ambiguity of my support - my hope is that this both makes 2SLGBTQIA+ and any other marginalized individuals feel welcome around me, and I also find it reduces inappropriate jokes or comments from the broader organization. People KNOW that I will make a stink if they are assholes. I try to ensure a safe bubble around me.
The other thing I do is try to make it clear to my team that I care about them as people - they aren’t cogs in a machine.
Ultimately, it’s up to my team members to decide if talking with me will help or hurt. I just try to make sure that my door is wide open.
I haven’t heard of 2S before, but what you say is right. Keep being supportive, protect their privacy, and ensure that people who are marginalising them, get the right consequences.
Two-spirit. Used by Indigenous North Americans to describe Native people who fulfill a traditional third-gender social role in their communities.
Aah, thank you! Interesting, didn’t know that that was a thing.
AFAIK it’s primarily (exclusively?) a Canadian thing
I cannot imagine they want to discuss this with someone from work of all places… be open and kind is already good
Thank you!
That’s a thin ice you’re walking here… Some people appreciate the support, some people don’t like when work contacts get into their personal feelings territory.
It’s highly dependent on how close your interpersonal relationship is with co-worker, what I’d avoid for sure is suddenly closing the distance just because you know he is trans and you can tell recent events are affecting him.
I appreciate that, thank you
Maybe best is to just continue using their preferred pronouns as if nothing happened, and be kind to everyone. That will already show your support and he might come to you if there is anything to talk about.
I hope all the other colleagues are supportive as well, I would have a close eye on everyone now.
Be kind and approachable. If they want to bring it up to you, they will. Pushing on it from your end might end badly and be very uncomfortable.
One of my coworkers brought it up unprompted with me like this. I heard them out, showed some empathy, and talked about coping strategies. I tried to keep it focused on what they wanted/needed.
I don’t think saying anything is necessary but if you don’t have the conviction to back up your words with action then you’re better off keeping your mouth shut. I would think a betrayal to be worse than to get the impression the support was never there in the first place.
Weirdly accusatory thing to say as an answer to a post explicitly asking which actions they should take to back up their words.
What we do in our office, to make sure everybody feels supported, is to have rainbow decorations, and badges and stuff for people to wear.
You could wear a rainbow badge, to show that you support, and so he knows to feel safe. You can also encourage others to wear a rainbow badge, or lanyard or something else, to show that he can feel safe.I am curious why you are getting downvoted here. Can someone explain? I was considering putting a rainbow sticker on my laptop for solidarity
I did not downvote this comment, but the approach feels a bit more pushed/forced, which drastically takes away from the sincerity. It’s great to show support on your own volition, but if everyone is required/pressured to do so, I would question who really is “safe”
Required or pressured? Is that the same as encouraged in your world?
When you’re being encouraged in a place that supplies your income and with that your livelihood, an “encouragement” becomes pressure.
Similarly, my brother-in-law once bought a rather expensive gift for my father-in-law and asked if we wanted to pitch in for it. He’s truly a great person, we get along great, and if we said no I don’t think it would have been a big deal at all… But being the one who married into the family relatively recently, it’s a difficult thing to push back on. And that’s in the best case scenario with someone you know, love, and trust. We don’t know that OP has that same kind of relationship with their coworkers
Ok fair enough. Where I’m from, that is not the case.
When it’s being done by your supervisor at work, whose opinion your livelyhood depends on, then yes.
I dont know. People maybe dont like showing support for minorities.
it’s best to ask trans people: hexbear has the largest trans communities and i would ask there.
But, then again, it’s hexbear…
opinions like this are the reason why it has coalesced into most active trans safe spaces on lemmy, it’s the furthest place away from shit takes like these due to defederation; the majority once again pushes vulnerable people into the margins of society where they then flourish.
