• MimicJar@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Technically I don’t know that it’s offensive to taste.

    And my dog likes it.

    But I’m still not going to check.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      This is one of the reasons I don’t like dogs who lick people. I’m fine with your dog until he starts trying to lick me.

      I also don’t like when your laying down, and the cat walks on your chest, just to block your view of the tv, and sticks it’s butthole in your face. You’re all like “eeewwww, no cat butt!!!” But the cat is like “meow!”. You have to tell them “Look, we’ve been over this. I don’t speak meow. You need to learn more words. Like if I pull a can of f-o-o-d out, you go nuts. And I have to spell that word, because I’m not trying to excite you, and then disappoint you. Because I’m NOT an asshole, and am being empathetic to YOUR feelings. Unlike you.”

      And she says “Meow”.

      And I say “I still don’t get the nuances of meow language. It can’t be one word that means everything. This isn’t Hawaii.”

      And she says “Meow.”

      It’s a losing battle trying to teach cats to speak english when they lack vocal cords. But maybe it’s a good thing they can’t speak. They could be like carrots. Always screaming how much pain they’re in, and how they have a baby carrot at home. All just because I’m trying to make a salad.

      Now…cucumbers? They scare me. They’re practically giddy to be chopped up. Real masochists.

      But at least they’re not smug, like George Clooney. The smug bastard!

        • Cadeillac@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          If you want some more laughs dig through their comment history. This is par for the course

      • EABOD25@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Cats aren’t necessarily intending on sticking their butt in your face. They see you as vulnerable when you’re laying down, and since they respect you, they’re going to guard you by facing the other way to protect you from the open area.

        Totally get the dogs licking you though.

        • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org
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          3 months ago

          No, cats do intend to show you their butthole. It’s the highest form of trust and respect a cat can give you. They’re basically saying, “I’m going to show you my weakest spot so you know there’s no secrets between us”

        • Cadeillac@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Thank you, I’ve been trying to figure out how to give Lemmy Gold. Didn’t realize it was this easy

          • Anas@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃

      • awwwyissss@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        I’ve heard people with dogs are healthier because they get bacteria from their dogs.

      • Cadeillac@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I saw your name and my partner paused wrestling so I could read the comment aloud. 100% worth it. Way more interesting than The Conglomeration

  • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    You’ve never dropped an impressively large deuce before, looked at it and gone “wow, all that was inside me?”

    • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I think association counts if the sounds associated with it are consistently repulsive. For example, the sound of flies swarming around a pile of crap.

      • SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml
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        3 months ago

        Which reminds me:

        Two flies sitting on piece of poo. One of them farts, says the other,

        ‘Do you mind! I’m eating!’

    • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Guarantee it would be a widely used substance if it wasn’t for the smell… People would be making scriptures out of it and fixing up cracks in their homes. It would be considered innocent and fun, and some would alter their diets to get a particular consistency.

      Incredibly gross to us, and probably still unhygienic. Maybe that’s why it smells, to keep us away from it!

    • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      If you take away sight and smell, you could probably get some cool synth/bass/rhythm type sounds out of it, too, if you sampled it.

  • M137@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    So is vomit, and I’d say that it’s worse because shitting feels good while vomiting doesn’t and hearing someone having a shit isn’t as bad as hearing someone vomit.

    • Chozo@fedia.io
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      3 months ago

      I love shitting. I just had a really big coffee and am preparing for first shit of my work shift.

    • IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      a while ago I was trying to find a funny story I read about someone taking a dump in a home depot display toilet, so I could read it to my friend. but I guess my search was too ambiguous and it lead me right to the “coprophilia” subreddit, directly to a post that included the most rancid story I’ve ever read. I won’t repeat the details, but my friend and I decided to end our search there because we had enough “shit talk”

  • Cadeillac@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The funniest fucking thing happened to me today. I was taking a good shit, and I was like fuck, I better check on it. I look to see how things are coming out, and a giant shit falls out. As soon as it hit the water it disappeared. The offensive part is that I still don’t have any answers for the Spookie Dookie

  • fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    "Well, it smells disgusting, feels mushy and gross, looks nasty, and I’m traumatized for life after hearing the portapotties at the burrito festival. OK, just one more sense to test…