This would be genuinely hilarious if it wasn’t so goddamn serious for so many indoctrinated folks.
So let me get this straight: she’s black, she’s south Asian, she’s a woman, she’s married to a Jew, and she’s a witch? I think I like her even more now…
I hope she leans into it for halloween.
She should have Bambi Thug as a guest on her next rally.
Lmao holy shit that would be fantastic
I’m pretty sure the world has essentially (mercifully) forgotten about her
You can be sure the world has never heard of whatever that is.
fuck no i love Bambie Thug, faer new single just dropped this week
It’s Intersectionality Woman!
To be fair, any technology you don’t understand can be mistaken for magic. In this case that technology is coherence.
God damn, I should have worn sun screen, I didn’t expect that hot of a burn!
The full quote is
Any SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED technology can not be distinguished from magic.
Personally, I prefer to say technology that can be distinguished from magic is not sufficiently advanced.
See: Warhammer 40k
Found the ghost of Arthur C. Clarke.
I originally wasn’t going to vote for Kamala since she was a cop, but now that I know she’s a witch I’ve changed my mind.
I’d watch
Kamala: Democratic Witch Cop
I take it Tim Waltz is the folksy desk sergeant, but who plays the no nonsense Captain that doesn’t believe in witchcraft? Sanders?
“Kamala, I’m once again asking for you to not place hexagrams on the crime scene.”
So who were you going to vote for?
That dead bear that Kennedy dumped in the park.
Tax the churches! They are political Propaganda arms of the Republican party.
Tax the churches indeed.
But a lot of churches aren’t the political propaganda arms of the GOP, you just don’t hear about 'em.
“She knew she could speak 20 lies about Trump and not be contradicted. That was the arrangement,” he wrote in a second post. “And that’s why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people.”
He’s describing Trump and his cult. It really is projection lol.
What a weirdo.
Didn’t this pastor get the memo, witches and Wicca are cool now.
Pastor defends his antichrist.
He’s trying to counter witchcraft with whiney bitchcraft.
WHICH IS TOTALLY LEGAL BY THE WAY
Not just legal, it’s fundamentally protected as a right by the first amendment
If Trump’s really the Messiah as this moron believes, shouldn’t he be immune to Devil Magic?
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That’s what the Nat-Cs wish would happen.
That wasn’t witchcraft! What she did was Headology, plain and simple. Far more efficient. All you have to do is make the recipient understand that the lies they tell themselves in the dark corners of their mind are flimsy untruths that everyone can see through.
It’s only a shame she didn’t make him think he was a frog.
But then, Trump is really already kind of a toad.
Is Headology a generic witchy thing, or specifically a Discworld thing?
AFAIK it started as a Discworld thing but has been adopted by Wiccans IRL
Not just wiccans, all sorts of pagans use it. Because the sort of person who becomes a pagan has a large overlap with the sort of person who loves discworld
So, Trump is “God’s Chosen” and has divine backing. But despite God being on his side, a little witchcraft can completely overpower him. I would have thought God’s power would be stronger than whatever dark sorcery the Demoncraft party could invoke, but apparently I was wrong.
Yeah, it must be that. It can’t be that their orange messiah is just an elderly narcissist with no discipline or self-awareness, a rambling imbecile who can be easily manipulated by anyone that threatens his fragile ego. That would be crazy.
Obviously it must be God’s will that Trump become President again, why else would He have told a small minority of believers to follow some rich asshole who embodies all of their most extreme political views? I mean, if he wasn’t specifically chosen by God, he wouldn’t have a divine mandate that negates the need to be moral or abide by any of that “love your neighbor” shit, and his deeply religious followers would have to choose between their faith and owning the libs.
Since they don’t feel bad about their politics overriding the teachings of Jesus, it must be OK, which means it has God’s blessing. Therefore, God is on their side and endorses their political views, and their preferred presidential candidate. Which also means that the other side must be working for the devil.
Thanks, I hate it
What happened to their defensive prayers?
Sadly they may have made things worse.
The problem is, when you open yourself up to spiritual forces anything can come through that door… Including your own paranoia… Which is more often attacking you more than demons are.
There was actually this cult, it’s still around today, but is so small time it’s virtually extinct, called Christian Science. It was not a league of Scientists who were Christians, it wasn’t Science at all, it wasn’t even Christian as it had more to do with shit on the level of Chris-Chan’s Dimensional Merge than anything in the bible.
(Science was a newish term at the time, before they used to call what we call Science “Natural Philosophy”, so calling their Group Christian Science was basically the olde timey version of when your Crazy Hippie Aunt watches New Age “Quantum Enlightenment” nonsense on Gaia)
At one point because the Church was grilling them about being called Christian but having nothing to do with the faith, the leader claimed she was the second coming of Jesus and that the powers Christian Science (doesn’t really at all) gives you are the same ones Jesus had.
Later in life when her health started to fail, she stayed in a compound and got progressively worse… Because the fear that her “enemies” were “attacking her with Animal Magnetism!” was making her so paranoid that it was destroying her health.
She had live in members of her cult in constant meditation to shun away the sickness.
It got to the point where she’d claim her food was poisoned by “Evil Vibes”, resulting in the Chefs having to cook two versions of the same meal in order to get her to eat. One that looked “eh”, for her to say it was poisoned, and another that looked fresher to be “After the food was cleansed with psychic powers”, if they didn’t do this little LARP session of “psychically cleansing the food” and have the right props, she would not eat.
Basically claiming a defensive stance when there’s no real threat is a bad idea in certain cases, because the result is you getting so prepared for an attack that you’re tense and believe the attacker is everywhere.
But not being defensive at all leaves you open.
Balance in all things.
Before I go, my favorite funfact about Christian Science is the founder of it was a woman who practiced Homeopathy and Phrenology to understand her own illnesses (Likely just hypochondria if history is to be believed), which at the time were considered legitimate forms of medical practice…
But that’s not the funfact
And neither is the fact that Homeopathy was highly praised at the time because REAL Medicine was so poor it actually caused more problems than it solved. So because people didn’t know any better, it was believed Homeopathy was “The biggest game in town”, even though today we realize Homeopathy literally doesn’t do anything at all. (Yes, No Medicine was better than Any Medicine at one opint)
What IS the funfact, is after various alleged religious visions, Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, while treating a patient of hers withheld Homeopathic Medicine in place of sugar pills… and her patient got better anyway.
Instead of coming to the conclusion that Homeopathy is an absolute sham, she believed she had successfully and secretly taught a man to cure himself with magical science…
She was so close to a groundbreaking discovery, just not the one she walked away with. It’d be hilarious if Christian Science wasn’t responsible for murdering so many children through intentional neglect.
Even at the time, most people know homeopathy was a crock, even when Hahnemann started the quackery.
And Mary Baker Eddy was so mentally ill that she believed her own bullshit. Just another example of the infinite gullibility of cult followers.
She did, she had a history of lying and hypochondria, and gaslighting herself into believing her own lies because of the hypochondria.
She started suspecting she had powers after she believed she had cured her own paralysis…
The doctor who treated her would review his case files for biographers, and revealed he never believed her to be in critical injury nor even implied that she had any kind of paralysis. What really happened is her own hysteria caused her to blatantly misinterpret everything he said in the worst way possible.
The only reason she had as many followers as she did was because her system actually was helpful. Not because she had powers or anything, but at the time hers was one of the only movements that barred people from smoking, something that people believed was not only harmless, but healthy for you. So people actually were seeing notable improvements in their health and longevity… because they stopped smoking, not because they had magic powers.
There was also the not allowing people to go to the doctor at a time where the doctor was more likely to kill you than your disease.
As Medical Science got better, Christian Science became less helpful and more detrimental.
People really were seeing miracles, Mark Twain even directly stated that Christian Science would one day be bigger than the Roman Empire because of what it was doing for people…
But no one realized it was from abstaining from tobacco
Obviously, her witch magic was more powerful. She gets a lot of mana from eating all those cats and dogs.
I’m glad you left out, “thoughts” because we all know that was never a factor in this.
where can I get my pointy hat that says “witches for Kamala”
hahah yes ! I’d buy one of these
Slightly more plausible than Bluetooth eatings where she had a full team of writers instantly coming up with her responses, all agreeing on it, and relating it to her with zero delay…
The bluetooth one is crazy because have you ever tried to talk while you have a voice rambling in your ear?
It’s not easy to focus.
Eh, a lot of scam preachers have infamously done just that. What makes it unrealistic is the practical range for Bluetooth. And even if they figured that out, since they were not inside her ears canals they’d be effectively speakers which the mic would catch.
HES USING SCIENCE AND LOGIC!!
BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!
Even then, like, am I the only person who isn’t against candidates having an earpiece and a team helping them? When do you ever think the POTUS is alone and making split-second decisions? They’ll always have an advisor or some type of council around them.
This is supposed to be a presidential debate, not a president and team debate.
Also at the end of the day it’s the president that makes the decisions, not the team. You’re supposed to evaluate them, in part, on their decision making capability.
I’d support it for fact checking alone. Give them a researcher in their ear who can search the internet for reliable references. It would discourage bullshitting on both sides, and someone like Trump would be instantly shut down.
Instead of an invisible fact-checking team, give them each a laptop (or phone) so they can do their own fact checks, and make the screens visible so we can see what sources they use.
I want to hear the candidates positions, not the positions his team thinks I want to hear.
Candidates often conceal their real intentions (or don’t even know them).
W was alone for a while when deciding whether to put down My Pet Goat…
Man, if this had been the case I could have seen Biden doing much better in that first debate.
As improbable as the latter sounds, the former (supernatural powers) I consider to be impossible. And when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
… which in this case is just that Harris is competent and the other guy is not. No supernatural witchcraft or impossible earbuds required.
Well, she did conjure up a can of whoopass
